The process of recovery from grief

The duration and process of mourning is an inexhaustible matter. Beyond all common points which apply for all of us, the process of normal mourning is above all a personal matter.

There cannot be a fixed answer to questions such as: “how long will the mourning last?”, or “when will I stop suffering pain?”. Some of the factors which we take seriously into account in the process of recovery are:

a) the psychological state of a person before the loss (people who have been already suffering from depression find it a lot more difficult to recover),

b) the relationship to the deceased (if the relationship was a dependent one then the recovery process becomes more complicated),

c) support from the person’s environment (a good and supportive environment of relatives and friends facilitates the process).

When a person is able to express grief, to adjust to a new life without the deceased and to accept reality, then the duration of this grief is pretty much reduced.

It is also important to know that the funeral rituals facilitate the procedure of the mourning period and allow a person who mourns to feel and share their sorrow. Most of the times the preparations needed for the funeral offer a chance to the griever to show care for the deceased.

“The greatest grief comes not from the loss that the death brings. It is the grief for the love we have never had. For that reason the unconditional love liberates us from the fear of death.”

Elisabeth Kubler Ross, 1995